109? roadtrip longest entry EVER

First thoughts on the road errr line to go to Brownsville

I'm not sure for who I wrote that name because I knwo 2 people with the same one, Number 1 is the first he will always be the first no matter what he came to my life when I needed it the most, he is just like me and he gets me more than I get myself, there's no secrets between us and I am sure I will never forget him. But then there's number 2, who showed me a love i could only have dremt of. He showed me how to love, He showed me that it wasn't wrong to give your entire soul in every second that we were together, He & I were one , many times I was his, many times his hands showed me how to touch, how to love, how to press all the buttons. I still hear his voice in my head telling me softly about all the places he wants to kiss, and with his words touching my skin I can feel so much in just one seconds he can bring me to places I never knew, just remembering him brings the most unbelievable chills down my spine memories of sweet love and deep pleasure. ( Here I was cut off by getting to some place)

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Thoughts on the last day

This roadtrip has been a complete disaster. I’ve never felt weirder in entire life. I think depression hit me hard because no one really cares about all the things I care. My best friend was a guinea pig & she spoke to me and said she wanted her nails done and I did one until my cousin decided it was too much poison and I shouldn’t continue. I try to keep a journal because is so important to keep a record of thoughts plus as mas says its just theraphy for the head. First day I got here I was full of memois and I went to a place I wasn’t welcomed before and it was weird but pleasant, I can’t believe how much of a hypocrites my family members are . I am still waiting on my frapuccino that was the bait for all this nightmare, my birthday is coming in two weeks I wonder if I will actually do something I am really not sure if I’ll manage to have time, my heart beats faster as I realize I don’t have much . As I walked the Christmas stuff allies in the store I realize that no one really cares about what I want to do, and this trip was ALL for nothing because not even the family meeting went well as I am concerned. No one in this universe can take things seriously for one second of course until I yell at them and become the public enemy of the entire family. All the time I was thinking I wish I was drunk I wish I had a normal family who wasn’t scared of the evilness of alcohol I want to get drunk so bad, but for my family that’s the ultimate sin, I could be the dirtiest whore that would be ok as long as I do it sober. I am writing and playing a weird retro game and now I will take a writers break to pick up all the stuff because thanks god this hell of trip willl be over soon

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Outlets

I really didn't wanted to eat so I bought a cofee wich was btw the most expensive frapuccino E-V-E-R I am sitting at the food court wich is well... gross I am sitting in a table in the middle of other 2 tables, on one them it's a super cute guy ( talk about human nature LOL) there are 2 bottles at his table wich leads me to the idea that there's 2 people that set there & eat but Where is that other perso? I think it will be a cute skinny girl.

Yesterday my mom and my sister were talking about how much my brother likes skinny girls & How much eeryone usually dislike fat people. I wonder if they will ever notice that I am one of the fat people they critisiz. After we eat we will go shopping where my dad will be a bitch on how much money he spends on me like if I was a terrible burden he has to carry aroud. I find it really amazing that fat people tend to wear Ed Hardy thus I will never ever EVERRRR wear it, I'm already fat so why feed the stereotype. So actually the girl got here and she's skinny probaly size 1-2 her face is a mess but who cares she's skinny right? I know if I don't eat I will die but everytime I eat a little something dies inside of me. I don't think I will find a dress for my birthday watching people eat is one of the weirdest things ever some of them are bored but most seem very happy I wish I could be a happy eater, my dad will get super angry at us because we want to eat ( here I was cut off again and this is the end)