seconds

I believe in any given second I will loose all control there's a point in your life where there's no way toget back to what you were there's a point where you look ar yourself in the mirrorand wonder why you did everything you did why doyou think the way you think what could you do to get back to the moment where everything was ok

wishing

I wish I was happy I don't even know what real happiness means anymore there's highlights on my day when I am happy but it's so short I really can't be happy I'm tired of faking everything faking my life faking to feel good I wonder how would it feel to be jsut myself for once, I've been in the very same dark spot since forever and as much as I seem happy I am really not I really wish I ws fucking dead I really wish I didn't do as much stupid things as I fucking did I regret so many things but what can I do I'm still the same as when I was 16 very destructive they say you should regret what you do I do it all the time a fucking scar that will never EVER go away how can I take it away I want to wake up and be someone else why won't it go away as long as this scar stays there I'm not me I don't even know what I am