Once upon a time there was a girl named Eli

Regarding Islam my friend Meto introduced me to his friend ahmed ( that will be my 5^th ahmed that I know) well I have to say seems he is going to very helpful he is going to be helping me with my prayers. I’m looking everywhere for a head scarf so I can do my prayers I don’t want to put just a fabric in my head, and I’m happy with my clothes research I found most of the things I was looking for big shirts and I found some scarves but they were super mega colorful is not that much modest I’m just looking for a black head scarf I’m happy I’ve got a lot of dresses at least I have stuff I can wear to school and when I go out, people say by dressing up I won’t magically become a Muslim but at least I’m working on it, of course I’m reading the Quran and trying to understand it, reading online books and getting more Muslim contacts.

Unfortunately in Mexico Islam is not a very popular religion and people are full of misconceptions created by the Catholics I remember when I was in middle school I studied in a catholic church and my teachers took about one month on talking about all the bad things other religions and believing do I remember they were so hard on Islam, they said awful things they showed us some movies about Iran, I was so scared and I couldn’t believe what I was looking at, of course at the time I didn’t understand most of the things I saw in the video I was just scared, there was a husband beating his wife, poor woman she always got beaten, and she hated Islam, they showed us also pictures of woman wearing the niqab that also scared me, but again I didn’t understand much of what I was looking at, I was young and being in a catholic school they don’t believe in respect to other cultures. I remember I thought something was wrong about the teachings they gave to us I just didn’t knew what it was but I just felt it.

When I entered to high school and left catholic school behind I had a lot of questions because all my life I’ve known only one side of the story of Islam and all I had was misconceptions and prejudice I couldn’t understand Muslim people or their beliefs, so later on I got an assignment of different religions besides christens and I have to admit it was interesting I felt very curious about it on that time I got to investigate Buddhism but I remember Islam was one of the options, I didn’t get that one because it was totally random, either way out of my curiosity I decided to investigate all of them not very deeply just a little bit, so that’s all I did of course it left me with more questions that I could have ever imagined, but I left all the investigations and moved on. I always kept in mind that I wanted to keep researching unfortunately I was kind of scared of all the interest I showed on other religions and I decided to get to know better my own religions Catholicism at the time I went to church every Sunday I prayed I look for answers all the time, unfortunately all I felt was a lack of information and a big lack of respect for god. I stopped trying.

On university one day I was looking at YouTube videos about Christ I was still trying to find my faith in what my parents told me, because it wasn’t easy for me I didn’t knew how they would react I didn’t wanted to be different I tried my best to stick with what I knew, I was sure they were going to think that I only did things to find more attention or something like that, because I’ve always been the type of girl that does a lot of research and always has questions, I guess I’ve always been like a small kid with questions about everything.

So anyway watching those videos one of the links was about a catholic woman- actually she was Mexican like me- who converted to Islam I couldn’t believe what I saw the first thing that got my attention was the security and happiness that she showed, of course I was kind of scared because she was wearing a hijab ( head scarf) and the respect and love she showed to god, instantly I said I wanted to be like her there in front of me was the answer of all I’ve been looking for.

This time I decided I was not going to be scared, and from that day I started researching and I did not stopped, every video I saw was a proof to me that I found what I was looking for, it was making me very happy I felt more secure every day I felt I had something that I loved reading about something that will answer all my questions. Now I understand some of the things because there’s a lot to learn I understand why the head scarf and I can’t wait to find one so I can wear it, I understand the reason of everything and the more I find the more I like it.

In my future I look forward to know enough to teach other people my wish is for everyone to know Islam in a good way to erase all the misconceptions in my country to make people feel they way I did when I saw the video, I think the best thing to have in information and having all your questions solved, of course I respect other type of views, I know people find this feelings in other religions and that’s fine I won’t mess with them. In a longer future I hope I am recognized by studying Islam and I hope people know me for being a good Muslim woman I hope I can teach and finally I hope to make a difference in the world of Islam, all of this will take time I know but I’m willing to give all my life for it.

At the moment I am just a beginner I don’t know a lot, but I want to thank all the people that have been helping me with information I know god will reward you for that.